Now that I'm no longer tending for a sick dog, I finally have some time to get stuff done. Stuff like publishing a novel!

Apprentice to Murder: The Tale of Robin the Rascal in the Wizard's Own Words, my latest novel, is now available in both a $15 paperback edition and a $2.99 Kindle eBook on Amazon.com. Just in time for Christmas!

This is my fifth novel, after the Central Kingdoms Chronicles quadrilogy (The Wizards of Ranaloy, Prince Thorgils' War, A Quest Before Dying, and Specter of the Lich). Those were all about wizards. I admit that this one is too. But it's also a cozy murder mystery!

According to the book cover (which I also wrote):

Life is easy for young Prince Robin. Growing up with the luxuries afforded members of the royal family, he dreams of one day becoming a knight like his late father. But the young nobleman's dreams are derailed when his cousin, heir apparent Prince John, dies under questionable circumstances. Fingers quickly point to Robin, who inconveniently happens to be the next in the line of succession and the last person to have seen John alive.

To prevent civil war, Robin abdicates his birthright for an apprenticeship under Royal Wizard Septimus. Robin's sacrifice saves the kingdom, but one by one, the inhabitants of Windwick Castle begin to die, each new death seeming to further incriminate the fallen prince. The only way for Robin to save himself is find John's real killer.

The apprentice wizard is going to learn the hard way that even magic has its limits.

If that's not enough to whet your appetite, you can read the first chapter of this or any of my other books for free at JamesWalterStephens.com.

Thank you to all who have supported this project.

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It's almost September, so let's go ahead and get these last July movies out of the way.

133. (1787.) The Daydreamer (1966)
Rankin-Bass would films are so, so slow, which I'm sure is why their television work is so much better known. A 30-minute Christmas special is far more entertaining than a drawn-out ninety-minute slog through children's fables.

134. (1788.) The Breaking Point (1950)
A sailor makes a series of bad decisions that destroy his life. It's a pretty great noir, actually. Recommended.

135. (1789.) Insignificance (1985)
Golly, I want to like this more than I actually do. There's such a great idea at it's core: what if Marilyn Monroe's attempts to spend the night with Albert Einstein were disrupted by Joe DiMaggio and Joe McCarthy? It's such a crazy allegory, it just might work. But then it doesn't, in part because the characters come across as exaggerated waxworks instead of real people.

136. (1790.) 4 for Texas (1963)
In this case, the four are Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Anita Ekberg, and Ursula Andress. It's a comedy that no one really seems interested in being in, Sinatra least of all. Having seen it, I can't blame him (although Ursula Andress appearing in a back lit doorway wearing a sheer negligee isn't nothing).

137. (1791.) Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter (1968)
Think Help!, but replace the Beatles with Herman and his Hermits and replace a stolen ring with a dog and remove the criminals.... You know what, never mind. It's just a thin excuse for some silly songs and a romp through 1960s London.

138. (1792.) Love, Simon (2018)
I've said it before, but I'm a sucker for coming of age movies, apparently even when they are also coming out movies. It's a total fantasy, sure, but I watch movies to get away from the reality of what coming of age is actually like.

More to come.

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I've been very depressed for the past few weeks, and I'm not really in the mood to try and think up something interesting to talk about here on the blog. So let's talk about movies I've watched instead.

88. (1742.) The Sand Pebbles (1966)
You think things are bad now? Look at how much worse they were when this takes place in the 30s, as the colonial-minded US was caught in the Chinese Civil War with hardship and death on all sides as personified in Steve McQueen's protagonist. Or the 60s, when the movie was made amid the growing troubles in Vietnam and race relations on the home front. Maybe life just always has and always will suck.

89. (1743.) Kid Galahad (1937)
It's impossible to make a film about boxing without including a corrupt boxing promoter. Or, in the case of this film, two (played by Edward G. Robinson and Humphrey Bogart). In the end, everyone gets what's coming to them. In this case, that means bullets.

90. (1744.) Confessions of a Nazi Spy (1939)
This is a retelling of an actual FBI case against a Nazi propaganda plot against America that mostly involved convincing white working-class Americans that other races deserve the boot. Of course, that's never been a hard sell in America.

92. (1746.) Lust for Life (1956)
Full credit to Kirk Douglas's star power for surviving an entire movie as a completely unlikable mental patient. I mean, I might know some people *exactly* like Van Gogh, and I would never watch a movie about them.

Ok, hold on. I'm being too negative, aren't I? Let's try something lighter. How about an animated movie created by the same people who made the 1964 stop motion Christmas classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

93. (1747.) Mad Monster Party? (1967)
It's crap! Heh. Actually, it's just not very good. It's supposed to be a comedy, but the timing is just awful. I have to believe that this is the fault of the uncredited editor, who simply must not have understood the art of telling jokes. Otherwise, it's got some fun art design and interesting animations, and it very obviously had to be a key influence on the creation of the thematically-similar (but vastly superior) Nightmare Before Christmas.

95. (1749.) Filmed in Supermarionation (2014)
The topic of mid-60s animation is a key theme in this documentary of the studio that created the British Thunderbirds television show. The documentary is a good oral history of an era of television that we will never see again. I found it very interesting, if a bit bittersweet. But these days, bittersweet may be the only sweet there is.

More to come.

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So, when I took down my Santa Claus decoration for Christmas, I left two anchoring poles embedded in the front yard. Rather than let me pull them out, Mother insisted that I create more decorations for other holidays.

Turns out, I've got nothing else to do.

Introducing my Easter Bunny:

Here's another beside the front door for better scale.

I'm already working on the next piece. (I had to brave a trip to Michael's, where only 10 customers are allowed inside at a time, to pick up some blue paint.) I'll show it off when I get closer to July.

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Movies watched in 2019: the final batch.

209. (1648.) Bumblebee (2018)
Surprise, surprise: it is possible to make a good live-action Transformers movie! No, really, it's a great combination of coming-of-age and buddy action pictures, intentionally evocative of the best of the Love Bug movies. Wriphe endorsed!

210. (1649.) Jojo Rabbit (2019)
If Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was my favorite film watched in 2019, this is my favorite movie released in the year 2019. I'm so glad it was nominated for Best Picture Oscar. More people need to see it. (In fact, it is be re-released in theaters this weekend. If you haven't seen it yet, consider going. You won't regret it.)

211. (1650.) Made in U.S.A. (1987)
I watched this indie cross-country road picture via TCM Underground, and that was a perfect place for it. The plot, such as it is, doesn't make a lot of sense and there isn't a great payoff, but it is definitely some sort of adventure.

No matter how far you are off the beaten path, there's Coke!

212. (1651.) Bundle of Joy (1956)
This is the Debbie Reynolds musical remake of Ginger Rogers' Bachelor Mother. The original movie is so much better. Don't watch this one.

213. (1652.) Office Christmas Party (2016)
Completely predictable, but not without its chuckles. Besides, who really wants a truly chaotic Christmas party.

Oddly, no one in the entire movie actually drinks a soda.

214. (1653.) The Opposite Sex (1956)
Sex comedy, 1950s style: Yawn. Leslie Nielsen leaves his wife for a starlet who cheats on him, so the ex-wife plots to steal her old husband back. Why, lady? He's obviously not that great a catch.

215. (1654.) This Could Be the Night (1957)
Not a great title for an otherwise charming film. A young teacher takes a job in a strip joint and soon charms everyone, including the audience. A good way to send out 2019.

More to come.

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For Christmas, I gave my mother the gift you give someone who has everything: a cold.

Maybe she'll forgive me by next Christmas.

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The difference between Superman and Santa Claus...

Superman's Christmas Adventure #1, 1940

...is that Superman doesn't need you to leave out cookies and milk.

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Still looking for that last minute stocking stuffer? How about some poo!

This is a vinyl "statue" designed to give to children 3 and up to color in with the provided markers (blue, red, and, yes, brown).

Merry Christmas, kids!

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Second try on gingerbread cookies. This time I used a 50% smaller cutter, but I only cut the bake time by 25%. Oops. As a result, they're a little crispy. At least they're well dressed.

Frankly, the taste is nice enough, but they could be burnt crisp and I'd still like them. The scents of gingerbread and peppermint are the best things about Christmas.

Next year: colored icing. (I think I'll make that my New Year's Resolution.)

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