Mark Richt came to my town on Tuesday as by coincidence I went to Athens. Richt was in town recruiting Newnan High School senior Trey Wiggins for the 2013 Georgia Bulldogs football team, and he took the time to visit with local schoolchildren at the elementary school where Wiggins' mother works. But what really seems to have stirred up the locals was Richt's dinner at the local Texas Roadhouse restaurant. Word on the street is that Richt is apparently "a really nice guy."

Mom and I had dinner at Texas Roadhouse on Wednesday. I wore my "G" hat and a "Dawgs" shirt. The waitstaff assumed that my attire marked someone who wanted to hear their stories of waiting on Richt the night before. Over the course of my main course, two waitresses approached me with their stories of meeting Richt. I sat patiently through an iPhone slideshow of Richt trying very hard to tolerate people interrupting him as he tried to eat his steak. At that moment, I knew what it felt like to be a famous head football coach.

I don't mean to be dismissive of their hero worship. I understand the appeal of meeting Coach Richt in person. I spent a decade in Athens, and the one time I bumped into him while walking across campus — in about 2004 — he asked to borrow my pen briefly to sign an autograph for a booster. As I recall, he was a really nice guy.

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While watching the Bulldogs lose the SEC Championship last week, I angered my brother by alienating his fiancée. Trey hasn't exactly told me that he's not talking to me, but I figured that he was mad because he wasn't answering my phone calls. I now also hear through the grapevine that I won't see him at all this Christmas, as he has chosen to avoid me and my mother this season. (From what I hear, Mom gets the blame because she did such a poor job raising me. Talk about holding a grudge!)

We all already know that I'm an asshole. Certainly, I resent that Trey won't spend any time with me now that he has a fiancée. I hadn't intended to insult her, but my resentment coupled with my natural anti-social behavior made me even less warm and fuzzy than usual. If that's even possible.

I know that I must be in the wrong. In a romantic comedy, I'm the character that starts out as a friend of the protagonist, but my reluctance to adapt to the circumstances resulting from the initial meet cute causes friction between me and the protagonist. My character becomes sidelined and eventually either A) comes to accept the new status quo, appearing cheerfully smiling as a member of the wedding party, or B) is revealed to be a sub-human wretch who gets fired from his job, falls into some dog shit, and is arrested in a comedic case of karmic mistaken identity for a child pornographer. Obviously, I'm working with my agent to land the part in script A.

So, I've been having a bad week. It's for times like these that I have a poster on my desktop. You know, that one with the cute cat and the motivational phrase? Yeah, this one:

Thank you, Frowning Cat. You always know how to cheer me up. And Trey and Melissa, if you read this, know that I am trying.

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I was been super busy in September, and as a result, I had the impression that my monthly movie count would be very low. Counting them up, I'm surprised to see that wasn't remotely the case.

213. Horror Express (1972)
Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, and Terry Savalas fight an amoral alien menace in an early 20th-century trans-Siberian train. This B-movie was far more entertaining than it had any right to be.

214. Cowboys & Aliens (2011)
If Horror Express was more fun than it ought to have been, Cowboys & Aliens was far less fun than it ought to have been. This big-budget bore-fest started strong before petering out slowly over its final hour. Stay away from this stinker.

215. Portrait of Jennie (1948)
Another recommendation by Grimmy, and, as usual, a worthwhile watch. Part Harvey, part Ghost and Mrs. Muir, it's hard to classify this gothic romance story, a fact that certainly works in its favor.

216. Shark Swarm (2008)
I have no idea how Armand Assante, Daryl Hannah, John Schneider, and F. Murray Abraham wound up in this terrible, 3-hour long tv movie about how evil capitalists are destroying the environment by creating extra-hungry sharks! Well, okay, I know what John Schneider is doing here, but F. Murray Abraham won a Best Actor Oscar once! (If you haven't seen Abraham's tour de force performance in An Innocent Man with Tom Selleck, do yourself a favor and watch that instead of this.)

217. Salt (2010)
I told my brother that I had missed the dialogue at the end of this film because I had to go to an online meeting, so I couldn't tell if she was fleeing or sanctioned. But he said that he saw it 2 years ago, listened to the dialogue, and couldn't tell then, either. So maybe the ending is just open to some interpretation.

220. 42nd Street (1933)
The prototypical "we're putting on a Broadway show" movie. Fun but not deep.

221. Real Steal (2011)
They finally remade Over the Top with robots. Sadly, this is not a better movie.

222. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (2011)
Trey said I shouldn't be allowed to count this movie because I missed the beginning and the end, and what I did see I openly criticized as pointless and unsatisfying. But he had to admit that I had at least been present for most of the movie and could recite the story, even if I didn't like it.

I've got as many more to go, and I'll get to them later in the week.

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We euthanized my father's German Shorthaired Pointer, Zipper, yesterday at about 6PM. Zipper was 11-1/2 years old, a ripe old age for her breed. Earlier this summer she was diagnosed with the diabetes that would destroy her liver, kidneys, and thyroid. The poor girl wasn't in good shape at the end. Which isn't to say that she was ever really in "good" shape to begin with.

Dad originally bought Zipper second-hand, as her original owner found high-strung Zipper to be too much of a handful. Zipper was intended as pet for Chere, but that never quite worked out. Even as a young dog, Zip was neurotic enough to consider a pencil lying on the floor to be the equivalent of an electrified fence. In her need for order, she ended up being more of a tattle-tale on Chere's frequent mischief than a playmate. Though Chere tolerated Zipper, our first poodle was never really keen on having a stool pigeon for a pack mate.

Zipper was always skittish and was once full of nervous energy, hence the name Trey gave her. She never had full control of her hind legs, and they tended to vibrate at high speed when she was excited. Her hind claws could tap out something of a racket as she impatiently watched the clock hands work their way towards treat time.

Once the diabetes was diagnosed, treat-time lost a lot of its meaning. I can't think it much of a coincidence that not too long after we took away the very thing that gave her days meaning, Zipper finally gave up the ghost. She knew that some things just aren't worth living for.

She was a good dog, and I loved her.

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Sorry, no post yesterday, but I have an excuse.

See, I was going to go to the UGA game versus Florida Atlantic University with Trey. However, I simply couldn't make myself care about spending 5 hours in a car (not to mention the $40 in gas and $20 for parking) to witness the Bulldogs beat a 43-point underdog. The only draw for the game was the ceremony to officially declare Russ, the UGA fill-in mascot for the past 3 years, as the official UGA IX. I'm not really big on ceremonies, so at the last minute, we decided not go.

Our plan was instead to sit around the house with Mom and watch the Florida/Tennessee game on one tv and stream the GA/FAU game on the computer. It sounded like a good plan. Unfortunately, the football gods frowned on my passing up stadium seats for the couch, and the cable went out. Since we have a cable modem, we couldn't watch football on television or the web. What a disappointment.

I don't think I'd do anything differently in repeat circumstances. Georgia went on to win 56 to 20 without my participation, I still have those 60 dollars in my bank account, and I'll definitely be back in Sanford Stadium next week when an actual SEC team finally comes to town. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned in this experience, but I guess like any good bulldog, I'm too stubborn to learn it.

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The third dozen movies seen this July (and the month isn't quite over yet!)

187. Alice Adams (1935)
Drew Barrymore recommended this movie on The Essentials on TCM. Credit where it's due, this is a much better movie than most Drew Barrymore movies.

188. Bride Wars (2009)
Everything about this movie is ridiculously contrived. I know that as a guy, I'm not supposed to "get" weddings -- a fact the movie quickly and frequently reinforces -- but I don't even get this movie.

189. The Sweetest Thing (2002)
This movie recycled so many of the same crude jokes in its desperate bid to be Something About Mary II, the producers even cast Cameron Diaz in the lead role.

190. In Time (2011)
Justin Timberlake as social-crusading action hero? Yeah, sure, what the hell.

191. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
Let me open by saying that I really enjoy the original Wall Street. It is the only Oliver Stone film I will admit to actually liking, and that statement includes this sequel. All the unnecessarily arty cgi and what feels like a tacked-on feel-good ending dilute the movie's "fuck the system" message. I was left wondering why I had bothered to watch a 2-1/2 hour movie starring Shia LaBouf. Joke's on me, I guess.

192. Slacker (1991)
I distinctly remember being wildly curious about this film when I first saw it on the shelves of my local Blockbuster in 1993. I didn't watch the film then, and that's probably a good thing. There is no way I would have appreciated the message then. I've long been under the delusion that all people get crazy as they get older. This film clearly illustrates that people start out crazy.

193. Peyton Place (1957)
Mom talks about Peyton Place as being quite taboo when she was a youngster growing up in a small town. And no wonder. It's a good, big screen soap opera, with family discord, rape, murder, and an over-bearing orchestrated score.

194. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
I'd seen the original Swedish movie already, and I looked forward to comparing the two. The American version looks good and builds its story well, but I was very disappointed in its spoon-feeding the resolution to the audience. Now I'm going to have to read the book to find out which was more loyal.

195. 200 Cigarettes (1999)
Think Empire Records but with less emotion and worse dialogue. And for a movie named after cigarettes, why doesn't anyone in the film look like they enjoy smoking them? (Only in the finale does Ben Affleck even looks like he knows what to do with one.)

196. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman is brilliant, but I don't think I could stomach multiple viewings of any of his films. (One more note: I found Kate Winslet's character completely unlikable. That means I spend this entire movie yelling at Jim Carrey to shut up and get over her. He didn't. I'm not putting myself through that again.)

197. The Big Year (2011)
Reviews of this movie gave me the impression that it would suck, but a cast of fine character actors injected this bittersweet comedy with a lot of life. I liked it.

198. D.O.A. (1950)
I liked this, too. The protagonist solves a typically convoluted film-noir plot by process of elimination. Careening clumsily from one suspect to another like a runaway pinball, he solves his own murder only after all other possibilities are eliminated. Deserves its place among the film-noir classics.

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Yesterday, my brother drank a 6-pack of Mexican beer and spent an hour telling me that I had to make more money so that I could move out of my mother's basement. Somehow this was triggered by him beating me at Stratego, a fact I partially blame on his not telling me all the rules before we started playing and partially because Stratego is a stupid game. As a result of that tongue-lashing, I have to spend the time I would typically spend thinking of something clever to write here on thinking of a way to make more money. Sorry, internet, but you'll have to go entertain yourself elsewhere today.

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Twelve more for July 2012:

175. The Thin Man (1934)
Seeing the c-list actors they assigned to round out its cast, it's obvious immediately that MGM didn't expect this film to be great. Myrna Loy and William Powell are so adorable together, it's hard to believe that the company didn't recognize the film would be a sure-fire hit as soon as the cameras started rolling. Highly recommended.

176. Frankenstein 80 (1972)
Every few years, someone tries to update the old monster stories by adjusting the science or politics. In this case, the modern "science" is a bottle of neon-blue juice instead of lightning. Wow. Too bad Mary Shelly didn't think of that.

177. The Ides of March (2011)
Dad watched this movie and told me it sucked. Trey watched this movie and told me it was great. It's a pretty damn cynical movie, and of course I liked it.

178. Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)
Sweet, sweet Emma Stone. I never, ever want to meet you in person. You cannot possibly be as awesome in real life as you are on the silver screen.

179. The Naked City (1948)
IMDB.com recommended this to me because I watched In Cold Blood. This movie is like a 2-hour Dragnet episode. In other words, it's awesome.

180. 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)
Tony Randall must have been quite a power broker to get MGM to make this vanity project. Sure, the makeup and effects are great, but there's not enough pancake makeup in the world to disguise 2-hours of tired sight gags as plot. Very boring.

181. East of Eden (1955)
Really, I hate Steinbeck's stories. If he were writing today, his work would be called teen fiction. "Oh, what is my place in life? Why is this happening to me?" Repeat for 200 pages, close book. Ugh. At least now I've seen the complete filmography of James Dean as a lead actor. All three of them. What a shame.

182. My Favorite Year (1982)
I don't think I've ever seen a movie set behind-the-scenes of television/movies/radio/theater that I didn't enjoy. (Heck, The Player, Radioland Murders, Noises Off! are some of my favorite films.) Add this to the stack.

183. Sullivan's Travels (1941)
Another behind-the-scenes of Hollywood that manages to be a comedy and a message movie at the same time. The third act seemed a little long, but writer/director Preston Sturges is trying to make a point. Since the first two acts built up such good will, I'm not willing to pick a fault with it. I think, in fact, I'll seek out more Preston Sturges movies.

184. 41 (2012)
This documentary on the life of George H.W. Bush relies entirely on interviews with the man himself, and is therefore less robust than I would have hoped. More autobiography than journalism.

185. Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
I'd been trying to decide if I wanted to watch this movie for years. After seeing Ryan Gosling in two other movies this week, I decided to take the plunge. Gosling is impressive in the role, and the film is gently sincere. I'd gladly recommend it, but I'm not sure I could sit through it again.

186. Sex and the Single Girl (1964)
Yes, Natalie Wood was sexy. No, I still don't like her. This movie is what passed for a raunchy sex comedy in the 60s, being some combination of risque vaudeville routines and leftover It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World slapstick from the year before. I'm no fan of Mad, Mad World, which like this movie fails to respect the old truism about the relationship between brevity and wittiness. Listen, Hollywood: nothing is funny for 3 hours.

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Movie watching in July is off to a big start with more than one watched each day. Therefore I'll be breaking the movies into blocks of a dozen or so. Here's the first batch:

163. Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Ok. I finally get the reason people find James Dean so appealing. He sparkles in this role.

164. Armored (2009)
A straightforward action film with a great cast. I chose to watch it for Fred Ward, but I stayed for the Matt Dillon.

165. Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
The first film by South Park creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Damn, they always knew what funny was, even if they didn't quite know how to make movies.

166. Night Tide (1961)
Look out, serial-killing mermaids! IMDB.com calls this movie a mystery/romance. I call it a suspense/thriller. Either way, young Dennis Hopper is the draw, not the quasi-supernatural plot.

167. The Breed (2006)
Trey selected this movie for us because it is a horror movie with dogs as the monsters. Even though that meant that the protagonists are permitted to kill the dogs without qualifying for the "kicking the dog" trope, it still wasn't a good (or smart) movie.

168. She Gods of Shark Reef (1958)
This Roger Corman b-movie filmed in Hawaii was made on the theory that plot and character development are unnecessary if the setting is pretty. The movie successfully disproves that theory.

169. Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (1968)
I was surprised when Trey walked out on this experimental art film. Theoretically, the themes of this film tie into his theater major in college. In fact, this is exactly the sort of film that Bill Marriott would have shown my art school us in his classes. I don't think I would have understood it then, either.

170. Picnic (1955)
This is the perfect example of the "man versus himself and the American Dream" drama that I typically find quite boring. I think if you don't associate strongly with the protagonist, this sort of film can be an excruciating experience. James Dean's interpretation of this type of character resonates in Rebel Without a Cause, but I thought William Holden was just too damn old for his role as an angsty 30-year-old to make it work for me here.

171. In Cold Blood (1967)
Part of the reason I watched this was to judge whether I wanted to read any of writer Truman Capote's books. I think maybe I do, but I'll start with Breakfast at Tiffany's instead.

172. The Talk of the Town (1942)
I think I probably should have liked this more than I did. Maybe it just felt too contrived to me, although what Cary Grant comedy doesn't? Maybe I was just in a bad mood that day.

173. Mogambo (1953)
I've had more fun learning about what went on behind the scenes of this movie -- affairs with Grace Kelly, spats between Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra and director Glen Ford -- than I had watching it. Both the leading ladies are great, but, damn, Clark Gable, get over yourself, man.

174. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
I'll be honest: I've never really cared for Sinatra as a singer. It just does't grab me. But I think I cannot deny that I really enjoy him as an actor. With apologies to Denzel Washington, this film is far superior to the recent remake.

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EXT. PATIO - NIGHT.

WALTER and TREY sit in plastic patio adirondack chairs. The only light comes from the window in the kitchen door. Walter holds a Coca-Cola can, Trey drinks a beer from a bottle. The pair are discussing potential content for the Wriphe.com blog.

TREY

It has to be about Superman and advertising?

WALTER

No, Superman or advertising. It's an either/or. I'm trying to make it broader in appeal, not narrower.

TREY

What about advertisements that feature Facebook? I don't mean commercials for Facebook, but commercials that include Facebook in advertising another project. Like that car commercial where the girl talks about how many more friends she has on Facebook than her parents. You know the one: "that's too small to be a real puppy!"

WALTER

Okay, that's one, but what other commercials feature Facebook?

TREY

Nothing comes to mind. But there has to be something else, right? Do a little research!

WALTER

Why would I research commercials that reference Facebook? I don't even like Facebook.

TREY

That's why. Your website is the blog equivalent of the comic strip Cathy. You freak out about stupid things.

WALTER

How dare you compare my blog to Cathy? I'm more like the Calvin and Hobbes of blogging! Crazy but well rendered ideas!

TREY

You, like Calvin? Now that's crazy! No, you're more like the Curtis of blogging: your runaway ego always gets you into trouble.

WALTER

Aack!

Frustrated by Trey's typically misunderstanding male perspective, Walter storms inside the kitchen door in search of some non-judgemental chocolate.

THE END

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